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“HE THAT HATH WIFE AND CHILDREN HATH GIVEN HOSTAGES TO FORTUNE;
FOR THEY ARE IMPEDIMENTS TO GREAT ENTERPRISES,
EITHER OF VIRTUE OR OF MISCHIEF...”
— Francis Bacon
“CHILDREN TODAY LAUGH AT FATHERS
WHO TELL THEM ABOUT DRAGONS...”
— Karl Kraus, Austrian writer
“SOME CHILDREN HAVE THE MOST DISAGREEABLE WAY
OF GETTING GROWN-UP...”
— Lewis Carroll
“CHILDREN ARE A POOR MAN'S RICHES...”
— English Proverb
Kaitlin Rose, aka "Big Sister", born the Fourth Day of December in the Year 2001. Wanted for questioning in the disappearance of several pudding cups from the refrigerator. Considered cute and cuddly. Approach with extreme caution.
Hannah Faith, aka "Little Sister", born on the Fourteenth Day of June in the Year 2004. Voted "Most Likely To Get Her Picture In The Post Office" by the FBI. Wanted in Sussex and Warren Counties for Barbie-Borrowing and Elmo-Watching. Last seen toddling down Sesame Street in search of her known accomplice, the Cookie Monster.
The two troublemakers, together again for the first time!
Judy & the Girls [Coming Soon]
Judy, aka "Mommy-Can-I", born the Fifth Day of December in the Year [expletive deleted]. Wanted for hugs, kisses, and the ability to get things from those hard-to-reach places. Last seen in the kitchen, armed with a wooden spoon and saying "How many times have I told you...!?".
Mike & the Girls [Coming Soon]
Mike, aka "Daddy-I-Wanna", born the Twenty-Eighth Day of January in the Year [expletive deleted]. Wanted for piggy-backs, dwarf-tossing, and that crazy dizzy feeling you get after you've been swung by your arms at high velocity. Last seen sneaking cookies to the kids.